Mission Accomplished
by LitNiche
Summary: Shepard attempts to make dinner for Liara in their home post Reaper defeat. She's quickly foiled in the kitchen and must call in her trusty squadmates for help. Fluff and friendship. A bit of humor. Rated T for some off-color language.


Mission Accomplished

Shepard fumbled with an asari spice container in her shared apartment with Liara on Illium. She'd promised her bondmate that they'd have a lovely night in which meant she needed to get dinner going. She'd selected Liara's favorite spice first and had quickly become side-tracked. The damn thing wouldn't open. She banged it on the counter a few times to no avail. Gripping one end of the jar in one hand and twisting the other end, she gritted her teeth as her muscles—the muscles that had ripped apart more enemies than she could count during her military career—worked furious to open it…to no avail.

"Goddess fksdfjlasking damn it!" she shouted, happy her daughters weren't home.

She tapped the side of the jar against the counter's edge a few times before doing so a bit more violently. Luckily the spice was contained in a salarian ceramic that, though it resembled glass, would not break unless Shepard landed the _Normandy _on top of it.

"So it's come to this," she said, glaring at the jar. "Fine." She unholstered her pistol and pointed it at the jar. Deciding Liara wouldn't appreciate a kitchen full of holes should the bullet ricochet, she reholstered it. "Damn it!" she shouted again.

Pacing a while, she decided she needed to call in a friend. "A planet full of the most gorgeous creatures in the galaxy, but damn if they're sophistication won't starve me," she mumbled, waiting for the call to be picked up.

Her omni-tool flared a little to show Wrex's scarred face. "Wrex!" she said desperately. "I need some help."

Wrex's eyes narrowed and she heard a low growl. "What is it now, Shepard? Does anyone really have the quad to mess with you after you defeated the Reapers?"

Shepard frowned, thinking now that this had been a mistake. Wrex would probably never let her live this down. "No, no, nothing like that."

"Damn," Wrex said in disappointment.

That brought Shepard back from her timidity. "How would you like to best the great, galaxy-saving, krogan-liberating Commander Shepard at something?" she smirked.

Wrex pumped his fists. "Sounds like a challenge Shepard! I'll wear your bloodied armor with pride once I've taken it from your lifeless body."

Shepard glared a little, but her remaining smirk undermined it.

Wrex let out a bellowing laugh. "Your face. Looks even funnier than mine. Now what's this about, Shepard? I thought we weren't meeting up until tomorrow at that bar by Liara's office."

"We were, but I've run into some trouble. Can you meet me at our place? I'm sending you the coordinates."

"Fine, fine."

His image disappeared. Shepard poured herself a generous glass of elasa as she waited.

…

"Shepard…" Wrex stared at the jar in his palm, sitting on the floor.

"I told you." Shepard shook her head. "The damn thing won't open."

Wrex's shoulders slumped in defeat. He perked up suddenly, nearly headbutting Shepard who was hovering over him. "Hold on! I know who can handle this!"

…

Shepard opened the door. "Hey,Tali. Thanks for coming by."

"Of course, Shepard," Tali said with her quarian accent. "But what is it? Wrex didn't specify. He just said you and he needed my help cracking something."

"Yeah," Shepard turned and gestured for Tali to follow her through the door to the kitchen.

Wrex handed Tali the jar and the three of them stared at it in silence for a moment. Tali eventually looked up. "Is this a joke, Shepard?"

"Wish it was, Zorah," Wrex shook his head. "Figured you're 'bout as tough as a krogan and if that didn't win out you could use some of your tech skills."

"This isn't tech," Tali gestured incredulously with the spice jar in her hands. "It's a jar!"

"Can you open it?" Shepard asked with hope in her voice.

Tali began to twist as she glared at Shepard. When nothing gave, she looked down at the jar, puzzled. "Hold on," she said and she began tracing her fingers along the ridges of the jar, searching for any sort of mechanism. When she found an indent where the label was located she pressed it. Nothing happened. She handed it to Shepard. "Commander…I've failed you."

Shepard put a hand on Tali's slumped shoulder, taking on a conciliatory tone fit for a physician comforting a wounded soldier. "You could never fail me, Tali. You did your best. This jar is just too…"

Tali nodded. "But maybe…" she thought out loud. "Maybe we know someone who can help."

…

"Shepard," EDI's calm, metallic voice began. "You have requested my assistance to…open a jar?"

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. "Sort of. We were hoping you could tell us if there was some sort of trick to it."

EDI took the spice from Shepard when it was offered and she studied it. "Farlianian? It is a spice from the northern-most island on Thessia. It is derived from a number of invasive flora brought to Thessia by the Protheans when they—"

"We don't need a history lesson on the damn thing. How do you open it?" Wrex boomed.

EDI tilted her head. "If I tell you, how will you learn?"

"Said the robot who asked me the basics of human nature?" Shepard tilted her head in return. "Come on, EDI, spill it."

"Very well, Shepard," EDI said as she proceeded to open the jar and spilt its contents on the kitchen floor.

Tali and Wrex looked dumbfounded, but Shepard dropped to all fours on the floor, passing some of the spice between her fingers in torture. "EDI…" the Commander said softly. "What have you done?"

EDI frowned down at her. "Followed your orders, Commander. I spilled it."

Shepard let her neck go limp as she accepted defeat.

"Shepard?"

Shepard's head snapped up and she stood almost instantly. "Hi, Love. Home already?"

Liara glanced around her kitchen with a puzzled but pleased look on her face. "I thought we were spending a quiet evening at home tonight, just the two of us. Not that I am not thrilled to see you Tali and Wrex. It's been too long. I thought we were all meant to get together tomorrow? Isn't that when Garrus arrives? EDI don't you have some retrofitting to oversee?"

"Yeah," Wrex sighed and offered nothing more.

"Yeah," Tali echoed him.

"Yes," EDI said, smiling.

Liara's confused expression found its way to Shepard and she smiled when she saw the smile waiting for her.

Shepard closed the distance between them, pecking Liara's lips. "I called them over for a little help. EDI helped a little too much," she looked down at the spilled contents of the spice jar.

Liara followed her gaze and quirked a brow. "Why is there an entire bottle Farlianian on the floor?"

"We couldn't figure out how to open it. EDI did, however," Shepard answered.

All eyes turned on EDI. "I followed standard protocol regarding orders, Liara." She turned to Shepard. "Did I make a mistake, Commander?"

Shepard laughed a little. "Not exactly. Future tip, though: organics don't like using food that's touched the floor."

EDI took on the blank expression she usually did when she was making calculations. "Noted."

Liara chuckled into Shepard's ear. "Should we order a pizza for everyone?"  
"Did someone say pizza?" Vega asked at the door. "Because I am _on _it." He was already dialing commands into his omni-tool before Shepard could protest.

She lifted a protesting finger nonetheless, but before she spoke, Liara patted it down. "It's alright, Shepard. We'll try again another night. It's good to see everyone."

Shepard deflated a little. Liara pecked her neck in encouragement and she perked up immediately, smiling at her bondmate. "Fine. Hey, Vega!" she shouted as she left Liara's side to approach him. "There better be some damn olives on it this time!"

Liara chuckled at her bondmate as she typed a message to her father. Regardless of the changes that had taken place during her short visit to the office, she still needed Aethyta to pick their daughters up from private lessons and keep them for the evening.

Tali stood next to Liara. "Sorry if we ruined your evening, Liara."

"Nonsense, Tali," Liara said warmly. "You're family and we haven't seen you in months. One of the benefits of being a bondmate is the assurance that there are a plethora of evenings ahead of us in the future for quiet nights in."

Tali smiled beneath her mask. "Not too quiet, I hope," she teased.

Liara smacked the quarian's hip playfully in response.

"Please," Wrex said behind them, surprising the two of them slightly. "Shepard's obviously got a quad—how many kids you two have now, T'Soni?"

Liara opened her mouth to inform Wrex once and for all that her bondmate did not in fact have anything close to a quad when EDI chimed in. "They have three, nearly four, Wrex."

Wrex's eyes widened, but not anywhere near the circumference of Shepards'.

Liara blushed slightly and nodded to answer Shepard's unspoken question.

A slow, but full smile began to take Shepard's lips and she bound back for Liara. She scooped Liara up and kissed her soundly. "So we were right? We're having another daughter?" She was grinning giddily.

Liara's eyes were smiling as much as her lips. "Yes, my love. I received the message from Karin just over an hour ago."

Shepard arched a brow. "Wait a minute—EDI, how did you know about it?"

"Dr. Chakwas utilized the _Normandy_'s secure channels to relay the message to Liara, Commander...and Liara's pheromone readings indicate pregnancy."

"Ah," Shepard nodded with an odd look for the AI. She turned her eyes back on her bondmate. She was lost in the eyes looking back at her until she felt a sharp slap on her back.

Wrex laughed heartily. "A quad, now, Shepard! Literally!"

Tali squeezed Liara in a hug, tearing her from Shepard. "Have you thought about names yet?"

"May I suggest Kasumi?" Kasumi made herself visible and Shepard rolled her eyes.

Shepard pulled Liara close to her again and whispered something in her ear, making Liara blush slightly but laugh.

It was the squad's turn to roll their collective eyes as the pair kissed.

Shepard heard a hiss behind her and was unsurprised to see a Volus with a few pizzas. "Delivery for Shepard?"

Shepard sighed and waved her omni-tool for her signature to be transferred. "Alright, all—eat up then get out."

"Ah, the love. Gracias, Lola." Vega smirked at her.

"If my observations on romantic relationships correlate with this situation, I believe the Commander and Liara planned on amorous activities tonight and their newly perceived notion of the future with a fourth daughter has made them further…excited."

Shepard facepalmed. "Thanks for clarifying, EDI."

EDI smiled.

"She's learned so much, eh, Commander?" Joker said as he entered, shaking his head a little in amusement.

Shepard saw someone coming through the door behind him and would have run for him if Tali hadn't squealed and beat her to it. "Garrus!" she shouted none the less.

Liara chuckled, making her bondmate not at all regret staying by her side.

Tali told Garrus the news and the turian shouted to the Commander from across the room. "Four, Shepard? Getting a little greedy, wouldn't you say?"

The Commander merely locked eyes with Liara. "I said 'a _lot _of little blue children, didn't I Love?'"

Liara lifted on her toes slightly to kiss her and purr "Wish granted, Commander."

Shepard grinned. She looked at her friends in the living area, noting that their number was increasing. They'd told them to simply stop by when their flights came in. Apparently they'd coordinated better than she'd imagined. More likely, her bondmate had arranged it all and forgotten about it after discovering they were having another child.

Shepard smiled warmly at the scene unfolding. Everything had worked out in the end. In fact, the defeat of the Reapers had only been the beginning.


End file.
